@JustPlaneCuddle those are all horrible, horrible things to say. I don’t know how some people think they have any right to say such things. Also you have a heart of gold for giving potentially poor worded folks a chance to explain things, but it’s also a good idea to let someone incriminate themselves at the same time in case you need to report them.
@Mike403 as far as the tangent arguments being made I’m lost as well.
Also reading some of the comments being sent to some of the women on here is not fun
I think we need a little time out here. 😅
Oh my, I wasn't following this discussion a lot. Though I see now things seem to have gotten heated which is unfortunate. Though sometimes ideas just don't get through between people. Maybe we'll all learn a thing or two from it upon later reflections, I at least hope so. In the meantime, I hope nothing was taken personally.
Hugs, dammit!!!!
Lol, No I don’t take this personally and no Im not actually blocking her. That just reminded me of a response in another thread. She’s still invited to the Boston tea party.
But honestly though, if someone’s ill-informed on something, just because they’re unaware, doesn’t mean the information discussed on it is being pulled from the air.
Why do I keep rhyming in these threads.
@PrettyLuv
"But honestly though, if someone’s ill-informed on something, just because they’re unaware, doesn’t mean the information discussed on it is being pulled from the air."
Fair enough.
@Lovelight
Edit: …if being amicable is going to trigger glass house moments/lectures I’ll smooth it over with her privately.
@PrettyLuv ty, for not blocking me. I’ll dm you. 🤗
…
I always find it funny, how a tiny word like "NO" can cause all sorts of meltdowns. A tiny word like "NO" can also make one look "undesirable" in eyes of your typical internet Dudebro. 😏
Lol. In my experience, being polite with your NO doesn't matter most of the time. You can polite as a coaster, and you will likely get insulted for you're trouble anyway.😆
Dudebro: Hey, wanna cuddle?
Me: No thank you, I'm not interested. 😊
Dudebro: Well f*** you, you're too fat and ugly to cuddle with anyway!
I have also received messages such as...
Dudebro: We cuddling tonight, sexy?
Me: Sorry I can't tonight.
Dudebro: It's fine, didn't wanna spend money on a fatty like you anyway.
Lol! And I'm an enthusiast, so I'm not seeing the reason of Dude mentioning "spending money"...But whatever!🤷♀️
Lol. 😁 Yep! Polite as a coaster.😆
That's why "NO RESPONSE IS A RESPONSE" is now my motto.😉😁
Oy. 😆 I think the nuclear bomb meme from @Lovelight says it all. This reminds me of an observation that @carrieanne made in a different thread a few days ago about how quickly discussions get sidetracked and heated.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/256637/#Comment_256637
Carrie: It seems like a lot of these comments strayed from the point of the original post. What's with this trend of jumping all over a new Poster in the forums, and tearing them apart for whatever they have a comment or question about? (I hope I'm not too guilty of that, if so I'm apologizing now). I've never been active on forums before this one, is that basically what they're for? arguing for entertainment? Me: @carrieanne A fair observation. I've only really been involved in the forums for a month or so. But if I were to randomly pick any 10 threads (especially the more recent ones), in close to half of them, there would be this unpleasant tension found in the back-and-forth discussions. A lot of it seems to come from as @Tygus correctly put it, "everyone assumes others are acting in bad faith..." As humans, we're hard wired to assume the worst, to throw up our defenses very quickly, and to make generalizations based on our limited life perspectives without thoroughly considering other people's point of view or what motivates them to speak/act the way they do. On top of that, maybe I'm thinking one thing but the way I write it doesn't adequately explain what's on my mind. And someone grabs hold of my remark, views it through a different lens, and before you know it, they're upset at my comment, so they protest, which causes my defenses to go up as I try to explain my intent and then it snowballs out of control with an avalanche of commentary and personal jabs. It's ironic that on a site whose primary mission is promoting physical and emotional wellness that there's often this underlying subtext of frustration and feeling misunderstood and invalidated in so many threads.
Carrie: It seems like a lot of these comments strayed from the point of the original post. What's with this trend of jumping all over a new Poster in the forums, and tearing them apart for whatever they have a comment or question about? (I hope I'm not too guilty of that, if so I'm apologizing now). I've never been active on forums before this one, is that basically what they're for? arguing for entertainment?
Me: @carrieanne A fair observation. I've only really been involved in the forums for a month or so. But if I were to randomly pick any 10 threads (especially the more recent ones), in close to half of them, there would be this unpleasant tension found in the back-and-forth discussions. A lot of it seems to come from as @Tygus correctly put it, "everyone assumes others are acting in bad faith..." As humans, we're hard wired to assume the worst, to throw up our defenses very quickly, and to make generalizations based on our limited life perspectives without thoroughly considering other people's point of view or what motivates them to speak/act the way they do. On top of that, maybe I'm thinking one thing but the way I write it doesn't adequately explain what's on my mind. And someone grabs hold of my remark, views it through a different lens, and before you know it, they're upset at my comment, so they protest, which causes my defenses to go up as I try to explain my intent and then it snowballs out of control with an avalanche of commentary and personal jabs. It's ironic that on a site whose primary mission is promoting physical and emotional wellness that there's often this underlying subtext of frustration and feeling misunderstood and invalidated in so many threads.
Whatever everyone's opinion is on what strategies will work, won't work, or whether people do/don't have the right to even ask CuddleComfort's owners to consider changes, I think most of us can all rally around the idea that a lot of people (women in particular) are subjected to an alarming amount of abusive messages (like the good examples @Katota just gave) and that anything aimed at creating an atmosphere where everyone feels safe and respected is a good thing. We're all on the same team. 🤗 On a side note, I did send a comprehensive email suggesting the implementation of an AI solution a day or so ago. I'll let you all know if anything comes of it.
@Katota - You hurt those poor guys fragile egos so they have to insult you so they feel better about themselves. Just tell them that they are ugly on the inside and that's what matters the most.
It's nice when the warring sides of a thread can reach a truce without Mod intervention.
The two in question can now go hug it out over some grey tea with Earl.
If ads were placed on the website then perhaps the website wouldn’t need to take commission from the pro cuddlers. Just a thought, but perhaps we would find the ads annoying. Just a thought
@stormydaycuddle
"For the record the word “expert “ in quotation marks was what made me… grumpy. I’m sure people may know that (“ “)used like that usually implies when set off with quotation that in essence it’s saying the person isn’t one or is lying."
I see.
"Quotation marks are the only punctuation marks you can do with your fingers (insert “air quotes” here), which is possibly why they’re often used incorrectly. Quotation marks set off quotes, show dialogue, and can even add a sarcastic tone to your writing. You can keep the rules straight with a few tips and examples — and you can quote us on that."
What the dictionary has to say:
Use Quotation Marks To Show Non-Literal Meaning A more stylistic use of quotation marks can show an author’s skeptical or derisive tone. Sometimes known as scare quotes or sneer quotes, these quotation marks indicate that the word in question has a different meaning than it normally does.
(Use these sparingly; otherwise, your tone might be more sarcastic than you mean it to be.)
The last time you “borrowed” something from me, I never got it back. Oh yeah, you’re a “genius” all right. Joe is working on his "art" (if you consider sleeping all day and spending my money to be art). Her “dress” was nothing more than a sewn-up potato sack.
-https://www.yourdictionary.com/articles/use-quotation-marks
Back to your other points:
"But I’m also pretty sure (now) may not have meant it that way. (‘ ‘) is used to set off a word more often without questioning validity. I am not trying to give a grammar lesson to anyone merely explaining my frustration. So I do apologize. The buttons are so close together and our fingers go more readily to quotations that I should have probably paused to interpret that differently."
Now the point being referred to:
"Despite all the “experts” crying lawsuit, there’s quite literally an explosion of 3rd party companies purporting themselves as 3rd party verifiers located in external jurisdictions that aren’t even bound sometimes by our legal system and are unfortunately being outsourced into taking up all our privacy data as part of their shadow companies’ verification process."
Back to me:
I can see how that could've gotten to you. While like you said, the " "" " (lol) may have been used mistakenly for one reason or another, I think it was intentional in that case and was likely being used to convey along the lines of sarcastic, skeptical, or derisive tone. My reasoning being that it for one was used twice making it less likely to have been accidently, and was also accompanied by the use of the word "crying", which I'd say can set the wrong tone for a discussion based on trying to understand one another. However, I may be wrong there too, and it could've perhaps all been a mistake.
So it's understandable how both you, and @PrettyLuv would've gotten to the point you got to in that regard.
Sidenote:
As for the other points mentioned overall and where I think the points made may be missing a point or valid, I unfortunately can't be of help there indefinitely. Because I've a lot on my plate and therefore can't be looking through and then forming my own points to try to help. Maybe there'll be a time I can, for now I can't. ❤️
@Mike403
"You hurt those poor guys fragile egos so they have to insult you so they feel better about themselves."
Facts.
" Just tell them that they are ugly on the inside and that's what matters the most."
I personally would likely not bother telling them just because. Another reason why I probably wouldn't is that they likely already know, although they might not admit, which is part of why they throw a fit for not getting their way. So I'd rather not kick a man, or a woman, while he's down and especially down that bad.
@Lovelight i appreciate your comment. My above edit was not directed at this. 🤗🤗
@stormydaycuddle You're welcome.
@Ironman294 Yes, ad the site up, so both pros and enthusiasts can buy an ad-free subscription for a monthly or yearly rate. We already know the site can take a credit card number for charging pros. Minimize the complaints as you don’t have to pay, but you get ads. It’s a trade-off.
@BoomerSpooner 🤣🤣🤣
That is all.