Do you think the stigma around professional cuddling, aka cuddle therapy, is improving or worsening?
Check out my other polls:
Is the industry growing? [https://cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/26829/is-the-cuddle-industry-growing#latest]
Has awareness increased? [https://cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/26831/public-awareness-of-professional-cuddling-cuddle-therapy
@xandriarain,
Right now many are going to think of it as being something else. In fact, when I first found this site i was unsure of what it was about.
Can we have a discussion on this here?
From my pov there is less stigma with enthusiasts than pros. Enthusiasts are doing this for the pleasure and the need to have human contact and most of them have been good rejuvenating cuddles. The pros I have been with are either not in to it very much,just in it for the money, or are offering more than cuddling.
@QualTy1 of course!
@Bohemianguy, it sounds more like your personal judgment of pros rather than a commentary on societal perception. On a platform like Cuddle Comfort, where there is no training or screening for pros, you will get varying levels of professionalism, but this is a serious profession for many of us who have invested our time and money into cuddle therapy education and pour our heart and soul into this work.
@QualTy1
I think that is the purpose of this thread.
I wouldn't necessarily tell others about it because of the perceived stigma, but internally I don't think any of us should give it a second thought. Some people are lonely. Often that is not their fault. Some people are orphans, in an isolating job, at a new school or in a new city/state/country, their friends move away or split up, etc. Even if it somehow IS someone's fault that their lonely, that person is still LONELY. That is a debilitating problem. We all need touch, comfort, affection. There doesn't need to be any dissecting and forensic analysis on how someone came to need cuddling.
If you want societies pov I get that. But I am part of society so I wanted to share my pov. From the perspective of someone who isn't a pro cuddler. And please don't get me wrong I have greatly enjoyed some of my experiences of cuddling pros, it's just that I have to sort through them to find the right one,plus I am in So Cal which might influence their mindset and mine. You are the type I hope to find.
@Bohemianguy please try to keep in mind that a few personal experiences shouldn't be applied to the entirety
It's funny I had this conversation with a friend this morning. He has done paid cuddles before and had been shy to share with people he knows about it. He said he recently has done some pondering on why that is and he mentioned that he has now begun to view cuddling as a form of therapy and another tool is this toolbox to deal with stress the same way he would use massage therapy or another service. I thought this was an insightful mindset shift.
@NatsWarmEmbrace I agree with your friend as well. I view it as therapy and paid cuddling similarly to massage therapy or talk therapy. But all of the people I know do not know about cuddling, so in my experience it’s still not a well known service.
I can understand where the stigma comes from in society. That said, I'm very open about platonic cuddling with family, friends, coworkers who I'm close with, and on social media.
Not sure about a stigma, but I have a personal stigma of paying for things that attractive people can get for free.
Sounds like something you should work through with a therapist, @MikeSugs
K.
I selected that I'm relatively new to the community and curious about the results, so I can't really say whether the stigma has increased or decreased.
I only discovered this community a few months ago here in the US, although I've known about similar services in other countries, especially Japan, where you can essentially rent a grandpa, parent, friend, or someone to fill another social role. These services are fairly well established there, which I think also reflects some of the challenges surrounding emotional connection and companionship in Japanese culture. I'm half Japanese myself, so I can relate to some of those cultural dynamics.
What intrigued me about this community was discovering that there were others who viewed cuddling the same way I always have. I've always valued physical affection as something meaningful on its own, but in traditional friendships or relationships, it often felt like physical intimacy was expected to lead to something else.
So I genuinely appreciate what this community offers.
I do think there's still a stigma surrounding these services in the US. Anything involving unconventional forms of personal connection or companionship seems to get labeled as taboo, even though there are plenty of people who feel disconnected, touch deprived, or ashamed of wanting physical affection without the expectations that often come with dating or relationships.
I wasn't around when the community was supposedly more popular, but I can understand why it appealed to so many people, and I hope it continues to grow. Although, with the current economy, I'm curious how affordability might affect that.
More importantly, I think this community helps people recognize that physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are two separate needs that don't always have to go hand in hand. You can want closeness, affection, and human touch without wanting anything sexual or expecting it to develop into something more.
There's that popular saying about needing four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth. I don't know how scientifically accurate those numbers are, but the sentiment behind them really resonates with me. When you think about it, unless you have children, affectionate relationships, or people you're comfortable being physically close with, regular human touch might be surprisingly uncommon.
And that makes me sad, because I wonder how many people could benefit from this community but don't even know it exists, or feel too uncomfortable exploring it because of the stigma.
Therapy is excellent and necessary for everyone. It's not an insult.
Another thing I've noticed is that many of you started out as enthusiasts, and now it seems like most women in the community are professional cuddlers. But considering the conversations surrounding personal safety and the risks involved for women, men, nonbinary people, and really anyone participating, I can understand why things have shifted in that direction.
Personally, I've found this to be a great opportunity, and I've met some wonderful professionals virtually along the way. Some have shared how their own health conditions or personal limitations make traditional employment difficult, but professional cuddling has given them an opportunity to participate in the workforce in a way that accommodates their needs. I think that's another aspect of this community that deserves recognition.
At the same time, I can understand the frustration from enthusiasts who would love to see more women participating simply as enthusiasts rather than professionals. But between the current economy, personal safety concerns, and the realities of people's individual circumstances, I can see why that has become increasingly uncommon.
I'd also love to see more male professional cuddlers in the community. I know quite a few women who could genuinely benefit from having a professional male cuddler who understands boundaries, consent, and how to provide comforting, therapeutic touch without the fear or expectation of things becoming sexual. I think there's a real need for that kind of safe, respectful connection, too.
If the economy in the US ever improves, though, I can definitely see this community growing quite a bit. As someone who thinks a lot about human centered systems design, I'm especially interested in how communities like this can help address gaps in our existing social systems. There's so much to learn from the experiences of both professionals and enthusiasts, especially when it comes to understanding the barriers that prevent people from accessing meaningful human connection.
I also see a lot of potential for making this community more accessible and better known to marginalized populations who could genuinely benefit from what it offers, particularly those whose needs aren't always accommodated by traditional social institutions or relationships.
I think we'd have healthier and happier people if American society were more accepting of unconventional ways of meeting our emotional and physical needs. Not everyone wants or needs a romantic relationship to experience affection, comfort, or closeness.
I've found this especially meaningful for people living with chronic illnesses or disabilities, those experiencing touch deprivation, and people in relationships or life circumstances where physical affection is no longer present.
I actually brought up professional cuddling with my therapist recently. We both come from mental health related backgrounds, and we often exchange perspectives and learn from each other. We agreed on how important physical touch and human connection can be, especially for people whose needs aren't being met through traditional approaches.
I think that's what I appreciate most about this community. It creates another avenue for people to experience connection, affection, and comfort without having to fit into the usual expectations of what intimacy is supposed to look like.
Another avenue for people to pay their bills, is what you mean.
Does it normally bother you when people pay their bills? That's odd.
What is or was the stigma exactly? When i first heard about this site i didn't think anything of it besides therapeutic cuddling and meeting new people but that was before everyone became pros and the site became a money grab for many women and a hookup attempt for many men
I've cuddle through the site for almost 10 years. I'm not sure about the stigma of pro cuddling. I also never viewed it as therapeutic (formally). I think the growth of the community has now expanded to now include more and more people in it for the wrong reasons, on all sides. I think there are more guys thinking it's code for something else. I think there's more pros with bikini/cleavage pics unnecessarily. I think these are maybe casual people who didn't specifically seek it out and maybe came across it one day and are poking and prodding it to see what they can exploit from it. And that's sad. As the pool of people involved expands, I think this is sort of inevitable. But I value the pros who trust me with their company and provide quality karma. Nearly all of them do a good job with no guarantee of a quality client on my end. I'm thankful this site exists and that a majority of us are here for the right reasons. We have to be our best selves and not allow the inappropriate minority screw everything up for the rest of us.
@SpicyNSweet - Not at all. I fully support things like this. If there is a market for it, then let people make money off of it.
I'm just not pretending that this is anything more than a way to exchange services for money. There is no emotion in cuddling like this - no friendship, no dopamine, no thoughts. It's a way for lonely men (including myself) to enjoy the company of someone else who would otherwise never want to be near them.
That's factually incorrect, based solely on your opinions. You're entitled to your views, but don't pretend it's anything more than subjective information.
I have made some fantastic cuddle connections with people I truly enjoy talking to and spending time with, and we open up to each other. 🤷
Yeah I have a few friends that were pros that I stayed in contact with. You sound like you are a bit insecure and blame everything else instead of looking inwards. There are a lot of guys that have friends that are pros or were pros that have spoken on this in the forums. I am not saying you are a bad guy but instead of saying pros are only in it for the money, you might ask pros how you can have a better client-pro relationship. This is how you build a friendship.
@AuthenticLucy
I'd also love to see more male professional cuddlers in the community. I know quite a few women who could genuinely benefit from having a professional male cuddler who understands boundaries, consent, and how to provide comforting, therapeutic touch without the fear or expectation of things becoming sexual.
Unfortunately, at least here, "pro" doesn't mean anything. I was contacted by a man who was tagged as a pro who wanted to arrange an overnight cuddle within the next few days, and got angry when I suggested meeting at a coffee shop first. He tried using the "no one else has ever needed this" excuse.
I was being generous and assumed that despite him being a pro, it would be free. The last thing he said before he blocked me was that he had been planning on paying me (which I didn't believe for a second).
He, who was a pro, clearly didn't know the difference between pro and enthusiast. I think he was just using "pro" status to try to arrange cuddle swaps, ie, cuddling with a pro cuddler for free.
He deleted his account not long after.
A professional male cuddle is like selling sand in a desert.
If more men would cuddle each other, then probably not lol
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